Narcissistic Relationship Recovery Therapy
With Sue Bates
In my 45 years as a therapist, I’ve worked with 100+ clients who’ve been burned by a narcissist. It can be a parent, partner, manager, or anyone you regularly interact with
Do you feel like you’ve lost yourself?
Are you constantly thinking about this person, crying unexpectedly, or wondering why you can’t stop contacting them?
Are you really confused? They are fun and nice and then turn mean and blaming.
Or having to deal with a parent you wish was loving, kind and showed up for you? How to deal with them.
Maybe you’ve been gaslit and you no longer trust your own judgment. You don’t know how to get out. And you feel completely stuck.
Sometimes the pattern started long before this relationship. Some clients grew up learning not to have a voice, not to have feelings, and to do what they were told.
I know how confusing these relationships are. I know what it feels like to lose yourself in them, and I know how to help you get to the other side.
Clients Come To Me When They’re
Very confused
Being gaslit
Losing sense of self
Constantly thinking about the narcissist
Still having contact
Crying unexpectedly
Not sure how to get out
Stuck
You don’t have to know how you got here or what to do next.
That’s what I’m for.
How Recovery Therapy With Me Works
We go as fast as your nervous system allows.
One of the first things I help you do is calm your nervous system so you think more clearly and feel more like yourself.
Then we look underneath the pattern. You’ll learn why you have this pattern and why you may have been drawn to this particular person.
Narcissists tend to follow the same pattern. Narcissists are VERY predictable!
I’ll show you what that pattern looks like and, just as importantly, where you have power - I promise you do. And I teach you how to use it, that’s the fun part. A fun emoji here?
Think of the relationship’s patterns like an onion. There are layers, and together we peel them back. As you understand what happened and where the pattern came from, we work on breaking the old patterns and creating new ones.
Approaches I Use
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Helps identify and shift unhelpful thoughts to support clearer thinking when you have been questioning yourself.
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Explores how early relationships shaped your attachment patterns and helps you understand why certain relationships feel familiar.
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Looks at how we're attracted to negative characteristics from our early caregivers and helps make your relationship choices more understandable. So you can make better choices.
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Looks at your upbringing and the role you had in your family. Then you have choices about how you want to show up in life.
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Builds practical skills for managing intense emotions to help you respond with more control when you feel pulled back into the relationship.
Find Your Way Back To You
The person you were before this relationship isn’t gone. You may have forgotten what you want, what you feel, and what your voice sounds like, but you’ve been there all along.
What Changes After This Therapy
The goal is to get you back to yourself and give you a future that isn’t controlled by this relationship.
You will:
Know what you want
Feel like yourself again
Set your boundaries
Ask for what you want and have power.
Trust yourself again
Be emotionally free
Look toward the future
You’ll learn that the power is in knowing what you will do and what you will not do. You won’t have to keep worrying about what you're “allowed” to do.
One of the biggest shifts is no longer looking outside yourself for permission, answers, or reassurance. You’ll know what feels right for you and what you’re willing to accept.
“You don’t have to spend your life worrying about trusting others. You’ll know you can trust yourself.”
About Sue Bates
Hi, I’m Sue Bates, Therapist, Mentor, Auntie.
I bring 45 years of experience as a therapist to this work, along with personal experience of relationships that screwed me up. I understand both the clinical side and the very human side of what it means to get caught in a toxic relationship. And what it takes to get out of it. There is so much freedom on this side!
I’m not always a by-the-book, buttoned-up therapist. Clients tell me I keep it real. I’m quick and to the point, but clients also tell me they feel heard, often for the first time.
We’ll take the work seriously, but it doesn’t have to be dark and heavy all the time. We’ll find time to laugh together.
I care about my clients, and I’m really there for them. When you’re dealing with the idiots in your life, I’m available for a quick text when you need some perspective and what to say.
Outside of therapy, I love dinner with friends, shopping, traveling, and eating out. I spend more time than I should at Nordstrom Cafe. My 12-year-old Corgi, Jeri Lee, is stubborn and smarter than I am. I’ve lived in a number of places around the country, and I’m proud to be a lifelong learner.
If you’re ready to take the first step, let’s talk.
Availability: I provide in-person therapy in Seattle, and virtual therapy via telehealth for clients across Washington.
Education, Credentials,
& Trainings
45 years of experience as a therapist
More than 100 clients supported after narcissistic relationships
CBT
Attachment Therapy
IMAGO
Family Systems
DBT
3 Steps To Get Started
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Fill out the contact form and tell me a little about what brings you in.
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We’ll talk about what you need and see if working together feels like the right fit.
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We’ll start where you are, calm things down, understand the patterns, and begin figuring out what you want next.