Dating And Attachment Therapy
With Sue Bates
If you want an Adult relationship, I teach you how to create one. For 45 years, I have seen many clients fall in love and marry good partners. It can be done :) PS: There are good men out there! (I can’t guarantee that will happen. That’s above our pay grade.)
Are you confused about how relationships work?
Have you dated but not had many healthy relationships?
Do you have a hard time trusting yourself?
Do you blow up relationships or get ghosted a lot?
Maybe you keep choosing people who aren’t right for you, even when you know something isn’t working.
Other clients come to me stuck in patterns they understand intellectually but can’t break.
Repeat unhealthy dating patterns
Fear never meeting someone
Stop trusting themselves
Choose unavailable people
Feel dating is exhausting AND they are tired of it!
Are unsure who is right for them
Clients Come To Me When They
I don’t just talk about your childhood or tell you to “get back out there.”
How Dating And Attachment Therapy With Me Works
This work may look different from what you expect from therapy.
I’ll look at your dating profiles with you. We look at the messages you’re sending to people and talk through what happens on your dates. I help you notice what’s healthy, what isn’t, and what you may be missing when you’re attracted to someone.
We start by finding your patterns. Then we figure out why you keep making the same choices and what needs to change. Together, we’ll look at your perceptions, your choices, your beliefs and how you show up with potential partners.
The goal isn't to become someone else. It’s to become the healthy version of you who recognizes and chooses healthy people.
Approaches I Use
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Helps you identify thoughts and behaviors affecting your dating choices and supports clearer decisions and less overthinking.
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Helps you understand your attachment patterns and makes it easier to recognize what happens when someone feels unavailable or too close.
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Looks at how your upbringing shaped your relationship patterns to help you understand what you learned about love and partnership.
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Helps you see situations and people differently and gives you a clearer view of what is actually happening instead of what you hope is happening.
If you’re an anxious attacher, we work on calming your nervous system so you recognize what it feels like to be with someone who is actually a good fit. And your anxiousness might be because you’ve not been with someone that can show up.
If you’re more avoidant, we work on trusting yourself so you can date again without pulling away from something healthy.
Become The Healthy You Who Chooses Healthy People
You stop repeating the same dating patterns and start recognizing what actually works for you. You know what you want, choose better partners, and trust yourself to walk away when someone isn’t right for you.
What Changes Through Dating Therapy
The goal is for dating to become less confusing, less of a big deal, and a lot more fun.
My clients:
Enjoy dating again
Choose better partners
Trust themselves more
Are drawn to healthy people
Break old patterns
Are less anxious
Find long-term peaceful partnership
We’ll work together to identify what needs to change, practice seeing things differently, and help you show up as a healthier version of yourself.
“I get you to trust your gut so you can date successfully .”
About Sue Bates
Hi, I’m Sue Bates, Therapist, Mentor, Auntie.
For 45 years, I’ve helped clients understand themselves and their relationships. I’m particularly interested in the patterns that influence who we choose and how we behave once we're in a relationship.
I’m not always a by-the-book, buttoned-up therapist. Clients tell me I keep it real. I’m quick and to the point, but I care deeply about my clients and they know it. People often tell me they feel heard, sometimes for the first time.
We’ll get practical. We’ll talk about the person you’re dating, the messages you’re sending, the dates you’re going on, and the patterns underneath all of it. And it won’t always be dark and heavy. We’ll find time to laugh together, too.
Outside of therapy, I love dinner with friends, shopping, travel, and eating. I spend more time than I should at Nordstrom Cafe. I also have a 12-year-old Corgi named Jeri Lee who is stubborn and smarter than I am. I love learning and have lived in a number of places around the country.
If you’re ready to take the first step, let’s talk.
Availability: I provide in-person therapy in Seattle, and virtual therapy via telehealth for clients across Washington.
Education, Credentials,
& Trainings
45 years of experience as a therapist
Dating and relationship work
CBT
Attachment Therapy
Family Systems
Perception Work
3 Steps To Get Started
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Fill out the contact form and tell me a little about what’s been happening in your dating life.
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We’ll talk about your goals and see if my approach feels like the right fit.
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We’ll start identifying your patterns and look at what needs to change so you date differently.