Couples Therapy

When you change, so does your relationship.

You can change all of your relationships by changing you.

I help people who struggle with any of their relationships stop the cycle of worrying, and crying, and pleading, and trying to fix it all by themselves.  So you can have peace and enjoy your life. 

Recovery From Narcissistic Relationships: Cleints are usually heart broken and confused. It might be parents, partners, or even bosses…

I have worked with people for over 40 years. My clients usually need help in their relationships: dating, couples, family, or toxic workplaces. I live in Seattle, I know ALL about toxic workplaces :) 

For Couples counseling, I use several approaches, it depends on what works for each couple. 

For individual clients: They are tired of longing and striving to have good relationships. They usually have a lot of anxiety. I help you figure out what YOU can do to change the relationship. 

I DON’T JUST SIT AND LISTEN, I give you tools to move forward. 

Maybe you talk to your friends or family to find solutions. Being an objective therapist, I can help you with the right next steps. And teach you what is going on with your relationships. Where you and your partner’s patterns come from and how to change yours. 

I understand your pain and longing for something that will work! I really do. 

You deserve to have healthy relationships: not to keep dating men who are not growing up…not get put down by your employer, not have a relationship where you might be blamed for everything, how to learn how to deal with your parents who tell you what to do and do it their way or you are wrong, or turn things you talk about into talking about themselves. You can have a relationship with your parents.

If you want to stop the longing and striving, I can help you. 

Why People Come In:

  • You have argued till you are blue in the face and nothing has changed.

  • You talk to all your friends and they agree with YOU! But that doesn’t really solve anything, now does it?

  • You have given up and there is dead silence…this will not work out well.

  • You want your relationship back to when you both had fun.

  • You don’t know HOW or WHAT to do to fix your relationship.

  • You have a pretty good relationship, it just needs a tune-up.

  • Someone has had an affair. You can have a good relationship after an affair.

Who Gets Results From Working With Me?

  • You are ready to listen to what will WORK.

  • You can swallow your pride and start DOING things differently so your relationship changes. You can’t change others, you can only change YOU.

  • You can laugh at yourself. ( Newsflash.) We all are just folks and we all screw up.

  • You are willing and ready to do some learning.

Who WON’T Want To Work With Me:) Not Kidding.

  • People who think their mate is the ONLY person in the relationship that is screwing up. I promise you, they are not.

  • People who don’t want to change; you are just coming in with your mate because they won’t shut up!

  • You are sullen and had to be dragged in. You’ll just leave at some point anyway, so there’s no reason to waste your time.

  • You can’t put your ego aside and listen.

  • You don’t want any conflict, you just want everything to be nice and easy.

I tell you this because I really have seen a difference in which relationships get better while working with me and which don’t. If you don’t think we are a good match, there are a lot of therapists or coaches out there who will work with you, I can give you some good referrals:)

My Take On Relationships:

  • I see so many people who are just miserable in their relationship. It can be worked out IF BOTH ARE WILLING TO CHANGE.

  • People often just don’t know HOW.

  • If you haven’t done all you know you need to do to make it work, you will always wonder! “What if I had tried harder, done this, or that?”

  • If you don’t change what you’re doing in this relationship, there will be the same problems in the next. Don’t believe me? Think back.

  • What did your past mates say that drove them crazy about you? What is your mate now saying? ????

  • You don’t have to stay married, I don’t believe people should stay married for the sake of the institution. There are good people out there who want to have a good, fun life with someone.

  • If you have kids, it is VITAL that you both do all you can to make a good relationship for your kids. Kids do best in GOOD relationships.

  • If you don’t want to or can’t work it out, I don’t think divorce is off the table. Sometimes people need to divorce to be able to be better parents. And to have a good life.

  • That’s just my take on it, want to be clear upfront.

How I Work:

  • As you can probably tell, I am upfront and honest. I’m not mean, I just get to the point.

  • I listen to each of you and see what you want and need. I teach you HOW to communicate in a way that has more likelihood of getting you what you want.

  • We put it all on the table, what IS working, it’s not ALL bad. What isn’t working and what needs to change?

  • I work fast, I don’t just sit and listen and hope you can figure it out. I give homework and directions so you can make the changes.

  • I give support when things are hard and refer you to individual therapy if I think you need it.

So, If you want to make it better e-mail me me. And please add your phone #! We will set up a phone chat and go from there. Please leave your phone number. Let’s get it done!

My Background:

I use approaches developed by several people in my work with Relationships. A few of my favorites are Harvelle Hendrix, who developed Imago Therapy; John Gottman from the University of Washington; Michelle Weiner-Davis; also, Terry Real. I use what works for YOU! I don’t use just one approach. Again, my approach is very practical and respects each person’s point of view. There are specific things that can be taught to help couples have good relationships. If both people are committed to working on it, it can be good. Most people just aren’t taught the skills needed to have a good relationship; luckily, they can be taught. I do a lot of teaching in these sessions.

My Fees:

My fee is $225 a session. Sessions are 45 to 50 minutes. Insurance does NOT pay for couples therapy.

I am only able to take a few people at this time. If you’re interested, just e-mail me. We’ll have a short phone chat to see if we’re a good match. I get back to you usually the same day.

Hope to chat with you soon,

Sue