Men, It’s Just NOT Fair!
Posted on February 12, 2011
I bet you think I’m going to talk about how men age better then women, or that they make more than women,
Nope, I’m talking about how women HAVE to be the relationship leaders:) we are anyway:) And how to do that.
Do you think you are the leader in your relationship? Have any stories to share?
Leave a comment below, share with your friends and please tweet about it if you find
It helpful! @SueBates
Lets DO This!
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This is great! I know two women who are enacting these tactics with impressive results. Thanks for continuing to remind us that we need to always exercise our power and self confidence. It’s been my experience that men respect me more when I do this.
I love your perspective! I’m lucky that I do have a guy that is into relationships and he’s so easy – but I’ve also figured out what works too! And, I’ve learned how men and women are ‘wired’ differently – how they think and approach things. So it’s beneficial for both men and women to learn how the other gender thinks and is wired. But – for starters – you’re right – women have to quit talking so much. It’s so easy for men to get overwhelmed with so much emotional ‘discussion’ and women’s tendency to go ‘all over the map’. Keep things simple and straightforward and in easy chunks they can absorb and with simple requests, like you said. It’s not really all that hard – just have to learn the male brain and way of thinking – it’s very linear and action based. Thanks for putting this out there. When women can learn how to be effective in their communication too – rather than just playing victim or blaming me for not being good communicators – then things are pretty easy!
Yes, I like what you said about how they respect us more. good point!
Thanks Julie! You’re a good example of getting what you want in relationships:)
HI Sue,
Thanks so much for the pod casts! Love, love them! The work that you are doing and the messages here are so important.
The topic of respect is such a big issue for women.
I work with senior teams within organizations. The women who are on those teams are hard working and are considered shining stars. Yet sadly, I see that they still struggle to have their voices heard especially when working with others in problem solving or dealing with conflict. As you say, they don’t ask for respect.
Men who speak up are respected, but woman think that if they speak up other people might think they are “pushy”. Woman hate being called pushy so much so that they will allow their careers to suffer for the sake of being considered “nice”.
This seems to come from an old blueprint from childhood where girls are told to be nice and get along with others and boys are told to be brave and to compete. But trying to be “nice” all the time is exhausting and in the end it just makes you feel unappreciated and devalued because you are not being true to yourself.
Sue, you make a great point when you link not feeling respected to negative attitudes about self worth leading to issues with food and money and the list goes no.
This is not just a problem for woman but also for men. We share the planet and woman make up at least 50% of the population. If 50% of our potential is not respected and under utilized for the sake of being seen as “nice”, the world is being short changed.
Nice woman don’t get the corner office. The bigger paycheck and more responsibility go to the women who are passionate, assertive, competent, and lead by example!
If we really want to do something “nice” – lets start setting better examples for the children.
Looking forward to your next pod cast – thanks again!
Jacquie
I feel we as women are the leaders but we have to let them(men) feel they are because of their egos but thats not right because if we are made with the brains so be it but because men make more money and run the world they want all the jobs including over women which they’re not good at . I’m tired of having to change us as women and learn them Why cant they learn us shoot, we have their babies , cook and clean andput up with too much and now we have to adhere to their slow brains because the world says they’re simple and we’re complex thats bull!!!! By the way have been married and divorced and alot of men are not men they’re boys who still hav’nt grown up because they hav’nt had a man to teach them how to be man and never will so on that note its not our fault(women) that they’re behind us and hav’nt grown up and as women well at least me when i don’t know something i seek out knowledge and some men o what the heck all of them don’t they just think it will get better or evolve some how.