Sue Bates - Therapist http://www.suebates.com Specializing in Eating Disorders and Relationship Issues. Sat, 21 Aug 2010 21:26:10 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.5.1 en What is the deal with men and women? http://www.suebates.com/what-is-the-deal-with-men-and-women http://www.suebates.com/what-is-the-deal-with-men-and-women#comments Fri, 14 Nov 2008 18:24:06 +0000 Sue Bates http://www.suebates.com/?p=30 Why do we so misunderstand each other? Seriously, what is it with men? We try to tell them what we want then they get defensive and say we nag! Well, as it turns out, the biggest fear men have in relationships is that of SHAME. They really feel bad when they think they have failed or that they are disappointing us.  (Yes, men really do want to make us happy.) Even though they look big and strong and act that way a lot, too-they do have feelings. ( I know, it is hard to tell!). Back in prehistoric times, a man’s job was protecting and providing for the women and children. I always say, we think we are all so sophisticated but deep down we still are a lot like our prehistoric ancestors. Men still feel that way now.

And what about women? We just want to be close to the guys we like. We want to spend time with them. Yet, men seem to be just fine being without us. Well, a woman’s biggest fear is being left, abandoned and not connected.  Back in the Stone Age, or at least a really long time ago, women NEEDED a group and men for protection. So we are hard-wired to want to be close. And we get really anxious when men don’t need the same thing.

So my new favorite book is How To Improve Your Marriage Without Talking About It. If you are dating, get it now! It will save you a world of hurt. It is by my mentor Pat Love (www.patlove.com) and Steven Stosny (www.compassionpower.com). You will get so many tips on how to deal with and understand the opposite sex and improve your relationships!

Here’s to us figuring out how to do this relationship thing!

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]]> http://www.suebates.com/what-is-the-deal-with-men-and-women/feed What Do I Do When… http://www.suebates.com/what-do-i-do-when-2 http://www.suebates.com/what-do-i-do-when-2#comments Fri, 14 Nov 2008 18:05:37 +0000 Sue Bates http://www.suebates.com/?p=29 Welcome! This is the very first blog post. This blog addresses issues of how to deal with situations where you feel unsure or stuck. Including relationships with friends, co-workers, bosses, lovers etc. When you are unsure about what is going on and how to respond, it is harder to move forward and have confidence.  This is for people with or without Eating Disorders.

I hear about so many workshops, books, people and tele classes that I want to share the news with my clients. I will also be sharing my advice from my 30 years of therapy experience.

So sign up for the blog e-mails! Then you won’t have to come back to check for my postings all the time. You will get an e-mail when I learn of a good resource or have a new idea. :) (It can happen at any time!)

You will be able to post inspirational stories about how you are moving forward which will help others. It takes a village to create a good life!

I want people to know about the latest research and happenings. It takes lots of information and education to create the life YOU want. When we know who we are and what we want and how to move forward in a way that will WORK- we do so much better in our life.

Hope to help you have confidence to go after what you want!

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